Our dog has proclaimed a new National Holiday. Please adjust your celebrations accordingly.

The innocent victim.

The innocent victim.

Pretty sure Storm just had the best day of his life yet again. These seem to happen quiet a lot lately but as he’s excitable I suppose it’s acceptable. We were sitting in the lounge room which faces the street and he just saw the garbage truck stop and pick up our garbage bin as he was looking out the window.

Anybody who lives in suburbia knows this is a common occurrence but if you are a Golden Retriever this simple act of rubbish removal is the most incredible event to have ever occurred in your life.

Storm told me about it later on and couldn’t hold his excitement. According to him the truck stopped out the front of our house as it was making a grunting noise. It just sat there for a few seconds and Storm thought the truck could see him thought the window. He was a little frightened so sat silently and watched what would happen next. Suddenly the “claw of death” flung out from the truck and violently tried to strangle the rubbish bin. They both fought for a short time and shock from side to side, but the claw finally won the battle. Without warning the claw of death flung the bin up above it’s head in some sort of dominate behaviour and ate the entire contents of the bin as it was flipped upside down in a show of embarrassment which was helpless against such a powerful attack.

Once the truck had finished disrespecting the rubbish bin it was simply dropped on the ground and moved along the road as it consumed the contents of the bins along the street. Storm was impressed by the actions of the truck and hasn’t stopped talking about this event all day.

He couldn’t contain his excitement and nearly exploded when I mentioned that this strange event occurs every Thursday (excluding public holidays) Therefore after talking to Storm we are proud to proclaim today the “Best day in the world” because of the events that occurred out the front of our house. This new official day will last until next Thursday which will also be the best day in his life when the garbage truck will return and repeat this event.

This is your official notice, please update your scheduled to take note of this new day. We will attempt to make Thursdays an official Public Holiday but are having a few legal issues with local Government officials who don’t want us in their office to discuss such a new and important celebration.

They just don’t know the simple things in life, like the day when the garbage truck comes past your house. They don’t know what they are missing.

Everybody knows garbage day is not on a Thursday for everybody. I would tell Storm this but I doubt he’d understand. It can be our secret.

When a dog needs to know if dreams are real or just a delicious part of your imagination.

When I was a child and watched my favourite television program I never understood why a show didn’t pause when the TV was turned off and it worried me greatly that the same show wasn’t on the TV when it was turned on again several hours later. I soon learned the real reason this occurred, and moved on to more important issues in my life.

I haven’t thought about this past event for a long time, but after a recent situation that happened with Storm I’m happy that this happened as it’s helped to understand the confusion in Storm’s mind and how finding meaning is often difficult.

It’s a weird custom of those big-box pet stores that they allow and encourage you to bring your dog in for a visit. It never made much sense to me, most dogs I know don’t carry cash so buying anything would be pointless and even if they did they wouldn’t have brand loyalty anyway so marketing towards dogs is a pointless exercise.

We needed to buy a large bag of dog food and Storm hadn’t visited the store so we succumbed to peer group pressure and loaded him into the car. I read somewhere that the reason a dog enjoys having their head sticking out the car window while the car is moving is due their excellent sense of smell. They can sense so many distinct smells they have a smell overload and are in a state of bliss. Whenever I pass a car on the road with a dog sticking their nose out the window they always look exceedingly happy so I’m sticking with my theory regardless of it’s truthfulness.

To say Storm was pretty happy when we arrived at the store would be an understatement. He jumped out of the car with a grin on his face that made him appear to be stoned. What occurred next will live with him for the rest of his life and he will always have unanswered questions about why things turned out the way it did.

It might be better if I tell this story from Storm’s perspective, his memory was a little hazy but he swears this is an accurate recollection of the afternoon’s events.

You’ve just lived one of your dreams and gone for a car ride with your nose sticking out of the half opened door window. Suddenly the car stops and that means your experience is over, your owners take you out of the car and things will now go downhill. They walk you over to a door and as you walk in on your leash it hits you with a power and passion that you didn’t know was possible. It actually makes you stumble a little as it was such a surprise.

Reminder to self : leave tongue inside mouth as others might think I look foolish.

Reminder to self : leave tongue inside mouth as others might think I look foolish.

The entire building is filled with food. Every type of food has a different and wonderful smell. To your right you see en entire wall of food you don’t know what venison is, but you are currently looking at 20 bags of freeze dried venison and you want it. Not just a single piece, not just a single bag but all of it. It now has special place in your heart and you need it. Your life has no other purpose.

Then you look around and see something else, that frightens you for a moment. The sign says “Fresh Dog Meat” and you panic for a short time until you realise it’s meat for dogs to eat and not the other terrifying interpretation that you had going through you head.

I'll have some of that  and some of that  and some of that and some of that and some of that

I’ll have some of that and some of that and some of that and some of that and some of that

Minced Pure Beef, Chopped Ox Cheek, Tongue Mince, Whole Chicken, Minced Kangaroo and Veal. You don’t understand what these meats are and at this point you don’t care. You just need them.

Behind you there is something called Dried Beef Liver, Kangaroo Tail and a facinating product called Lamb Licks Even your owners don’t know what Lamb Licks are but it doesn’t matter anyway as if you had the ability to speak and ask them you’d be speechless anyway and wouldn’t be able to utter a single word.

You walk around the store with you mouth wide open in amazement. Why has nobody told you this exists? Surly they know about it, but for some reason they’ve chosen not to share the important information about this store. As you stumble around the store you find bags of food stacked as high as the ceiling, brands and smells you never knew existed. They are beautiful to look at, but you need to taste them.

This has to be dream, there is no way this could be real?

This has to be dream, there is no way this could be real?

It’s a safe assumption that this is your new home, over there you can see shelves of dog beds, enough chew toys to last a lifetime, leashes, medications and even dog kennels. You’re an inside dog and have little need for dog kennel but everybody needs to slum it once in a while so you try each one just once so you can tick it off your bucket list.

Time passes quickly, you don’t know how long you were there but suddenly your owner leaves the building with you on the leash and a single bag of food under their arm. As you walk through the door you glance over your shoulder one last time.

Finally you arrive home and try to sleep but today was a wonderful experience and sleeping was difficult. You wake up after a short nap and wonder if it was all just a dream?

That moment in your life when you wake up and wonder if ii was just a wonderful dream.

That moment in your life when you wake up and wonder if it was just a wonderful dream.

If only you didn’t forget to bring your wallet.