Storm met God yesterday, her name was Heather.

Something wonderful happened to Storm yesterday. He was sitting at home in the morning. He’d eaten breakfast, barked at the cats for no apparent reason, destroyed one of his stuffed toys and watched as the kids left for school. He’d settled down for a busy morning looking out the window and it appeared this day was turning out just like any other day.

However today something else occurred. Storm had seen cars parked in our driveway over the years, friends or relatives coming over for a visit but this vehicle looked weird. It had a big blue trailer with a dog picture on the outside. Of course Storm assumed this trailer was full of other dogs which were sent here to play with him so he walked outside to see his new friends.

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As we can read English we know what the trailer was really for, however it came as a bit of a surprise when he was taken inside the trailer and soaped up after getting covered in water. I didn’t want to ask him if this was one of his fantasies becoming true, it seemed weird to ask and to be honest I didn’t want to know the answer

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Have you ever looked this happy in your life?

He loved every moment of the experience of getting a professional wash, in fact he loved it in the exact opposite way he feels when I attempt to keep him clean by dumping him in the bath and then attempting to dry him as he shakes water all over the bathroom walls. Whenever I attempt to wash him we both walk away from the experience feeling like we’d gone into battle and both sides had lost.

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“You are a God to me”

Like all good things in life this wonderful experience didn’t continue all day. Before he realised what had happened the wash was over and he was back inside the house in his usual position looking out the window. Only now he felt different, he smelled much cleaner than he did beforehand, it was something he’d have to fix later by rolling around it something disgusting.

Maybe the world is a good place after all, but he wonders when she is coming back?

Footnote : Storm had to wear the ear covering in the below photo while the dryer was working on him.  He is embarrassed about this photo and hope you never see it, but I really needed to post the pic.   You know why.

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His ears were safe from the loud noise but his dignity was destroyed in the process.

Please don’t mention you’ve seen this photo, I promised him I’d deleted the pic from my camera.

Warning : This blog post shows a naked dog in a bathtub.

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Look into the eyes of Storm. You will not see the excitement of a dog that had a good day, instead you will see regret and concern at how his day turned bad so quickly. Most people enjoy the refreshing feeling after bathing, however Storm just feels disappointed that all those wonderful scents he managed to cover himself with today after his walk have now disappeared and instead he smells like a wet blanket.

Past victories are long forgotten, the world is dark and depressing place. One day Storm will learn to love again. Not today.

I know he’ll get over this setback in his life, but for now he’s just unhappy and doesn’t understand how he ended up in a bath of warm water.

Even after the bath life has not improved for Storm.  Why did his day end so poorly?

Even after the bath life has not improved for Storm. Why did his day end so poorly?

He doesn’t know it,  but he now smells like flowers.  He’d be horrified to know, so we won’t say a word.  I don’t want to make him more depressed.

What to do with a psychopathic dog with a codependency problem?

Ten years ago when our children were toddlers our house was covered in toys. You couldn’t walk through the house without tripping over a toy that were sticking out of cupboards, in bookshelves and all over the floor. Over time the kids out grew the toys so we discarded them or handed them on to friends. Slowly the house got back into some type of order and we forgot about the dark days when walking across the lounge room floor was a experience in obstacle avoidance.

Now things have changed, our children and are teenagers and have moved on to the PlayStation and Xbox. However for some reason the toys have reappeared. This time they are not from the children but from our Golden Retriever named Storm. Our lounge room is now covered in rope toys, stuffed animal and a weird looking dolphin thing I think we picked up from IKEA. He carries them around like a safety blanket and piles them in a corner once he’s finished covering them with slobber.

These are not normal looking toys, the majority of his toys appear to be war victims. Some are missing arms, any stuffed toy with a tail has had it removed or torn away, body parts are missing and everything is covered in slobber. When I ask Storm about this he talks fondly of his relationship with his toys and tells me that they are best of friends.

I have to agree with him because after telling me this information it’s obvious that Storm is a psychopath who is oblivious to the harm he does to others. As a result of his words I’m frightened to disagree in case he decides to remove one of my arms in a misplaced sign of friendship.

Have you ever seen a dog sleep when they have a codependency relationship with stuffed toys? Storm has his favourite spot near the window where he spends the majority of his time. The problem is he demanded we buy him a raised bed to sleep on. I’ve got no idea why he wants this bed, he can never fit into it.  Whenever he decides to sleep every toy in the neighbourhood is invited over for a nap.

Sleeping is easier when you invite friends.

Sleeping is easier when you invite friends.

He loads his bed with so many “guests” there is hardly any space for him to lie down. He tries anyway but he looks uncomfortable as it’s obvious there is not enough room for everybody, but as he’s so invested in his brilliant idea of having a bed party any negative logistical issues are soon ignored.

It’s a weird thing to watch, he shows them so much respect but at other times of the day he has no issue ripping off their limbs or ingesting their body parts.

But I guess that’s normal behaviour for a psychopath?

In this sad tale of death and suffering there are two things I’m grateful for, he has not decided to bring his friends with him when we force him to have a bath and more importantly he doesn’t want to play the kids Playstation in the bath.

There is nothing sader than a dog with a codependency for toys who can't take then in the bath.

There is nothing sader than a dog with a codependency for toys who can’t take then in the bath.

I guess that day is coming but until that day arrives his toys can continue living in fear of their “best friend” who only wants to be loved.