Sharks are morons and you shouldn’t be frightened of them.

I’ve never understood why people are so frightened of sharks. According to popular culture sharks are an evil killing machine who can think of nothing better than swimming down the local beach and snacking on the locals as they dip in the ocean during a sunny Australian summer.

I think people are wrong, sharks are not evil masterminds hellbent on the genocide of all humans. Sharks are idiots, morons who have interpersonal problems when relating to others, greatly misunderstood by the wider community and very lonely because nobody likes them.

You don’t believe me do you? Just look at the raw statistics from a random site I found on the internet. Since records begun 232 people have died from shark attacks in Australia. That’s a really bad day for those involved but you need to look at the lesser known fact that the total amount of shark attacks was 967. Do you get what I’m saying? Only twenty four percent of all shark attacks were fatal.

Just think about that, we have a creature that has knives for teeth and a mouth big enough to swallow a horse but the idiot creature still fails to kill their dinner seventy five percent of the time. Thats a horrible success rate so its lucky sharks don’t play competitive sports, or maybe they should play for that sports team you hate?

The shark not only gets away with this major incompetence but we then turn around and worship their killing skills, but unfortunately when you look more closely are actually non-existent.

They even make movies about sharks, big scary movies with big scary plastic sharks that don’t even look real. Where are the movies about cows that kill many more people every year than sharks ever will? You have more of a chance of getting horribly murdered by a bee stings or an irate hippopotamus who is pretty much blind and a strict vegetarian. If your major competitor for the most fearsome creature only eats lettuce and needs reading glasses then you’ve got major marketing problems and maybe should considering paying for an image consultant.

I don’t believe a word of the scientific theory (which doesn’t actually exist outside my head) that’s sharks are actually trying to rescue humans who they believe are drowning in shallow water. No, that give a morality to a creature that is so stupid that it’s even forgotten to evolve over the last 100 million years. Hey idiot, maybe arms might come in handy so then you wouldn’t have to bite everything you found interesting. Just a thought.

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3 thoughts on “Sharks are morons and you shouldn’t be frightened of them.

  1. Roger says:

    Sharks are 100% effective at what they do – causing you to lose blood. If you lose enough they get a free meal. What’s not to like? Its their poor luck that 3/4 of the people make it back to shore with some of their precious fluids left. Next time….

    Liked by 1 person

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