A shocking relization about cucumbers.

I heard a rumour today around eighty percent of close door buttons on elevators do not work. They serve no actual purposes and are only there to give us a false sense of control when in fact we actually have none. Of course this news doesn’t stop me pressing it vigorous when I see someone running towards the open door. It cheers me up in an otherwise dull day.

This seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life lately, finding out things that make me realise I don’t actually know what is real and what is only there for appearances.

For example I recently found out a little known fact that pickle and cucumbers are actually the same thing. When I say “little known fact” I need to admit that is was a little known fact only to myself. The rest of the world seems to already know this, which begs the question as to why nobody bothered to tell me?

This news has upset me more than I thought. I’ve always enjoyed cucumbers, they work in a salad or in a sandwich but I’ve always assumed pickles were the most pathetic food in existence. Now I know the truth that they are a cucumber covered in evil. For some reason McDonalds seem to want them in their burgers, it’s a mystery that has always worried me. They taste like dried snot and only bring negativity to the world.

In much the same way McDonalds does.

Now I need to rethink everything I know about life. Is nothing real or is everything real? Are plums and prunes the same fruit? Where do raisins come from? Why is Justin Bieber so annoying? Next they will say that bacon comes from pigs, my reality is changing and I can’t cope with so many questions.

With everything that’s happened today I’m not game to ask any questions about a gherkin and their lineage.


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