I can’t think of a title, assume I wrote something profound here.

A golden rule of life is to never mix up meanness with stupidity. We judge others for their actions but judge ourselves by our motives. I hope I don’t do this but sometimes we need to admit the cold, hard truth about ourselves, so maybe I sometimes do?

Having said that I need some help. Does anybody have an insider in a political party? I need a new law passed and think the only way to successfully change the law for my own personal benefit would be to befriend a politician and donate to their political party so I get their ear. I see it all the time, you walk up to a politician, offer their party a bundle of cash then they can legalise (or criminalise) whatever floats your boat.

I need to change the law so I will not get prosecuted for violently dropping speakers on the nearest footpath.. Also I need protection from punching the idiot in the face who was holding the speakers while playing loud music while walking on the same footpath. If possible I also want them dead for crimes against common logic.

What exactly are they thinking, do they honestly believe that after we hear their 1980’s Thrash Metal tribute band played loudly over their speakers we’d high-five them for opening our eyes to a new genre of music, then jump onto iTunes and buy the complete back catalog?

Here is a little hint for people who play music like this – don’t.

If I’m getting a law changed I might as well add another one. I’d make riding ducks illegal. I don’t actually think it’s possible to ride a duck without causing serious injury to the duck and severe social embarrassment to the rider but if we make it a crime to place a riding saddle on a duck within 200 meters of a Primary School while wearing a bear outfit.

You may think this is strange request, but I figured since it was illegal someone would actually attempt it just to show their non conforming attitudes. I’d also love to see the resulting YouTube video.

If you think this is whole story is mean of me then maybe instead you should judge me by my motives and not my actions.

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