Can I have some toast?

I had a very confusing day yesterday. Went to the supermarket to buy a few things and after walking around for a bit filling up the trolley with unnecessary items decided that I wanted to have some toast.

Simple request you’d think? Actually it wasn’t and now I’m reconsidering western civilisation and the benefits of our consumer society that has promised us everything we might desire.

We can buy pretty much anything we want these days, the shops are full of every product you could ever want and if you can’t find it there then the Internet would pretty much have the rest.

However I’ve found it impossible to go to the supermarket and buy toast, according to the nice person behind the service counter the only way I can get some toast is to purchase bread, take it home and cook it myself in a thing called a “toaster”. She also said “please stay away from this store and stop asking stupid questions”. I don’t know why she said that, maybe I’ll ask her next time I visit?

In case any anybody is not aware it’s 2014, it should be possible for me to buy pre-manufactured toast which would be hugely beneficial as I don’t understand how to use a pop-up toaster. Does anybody truly understand how a toaster knows when the toast is cooked, or is it just one of those mysteries of the universe?

Maybe one day science will get to the bottom of this question but until they do I have a jar of honey sitting at home but nothing to spread it on.

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